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Invisible challenges and visible grace?

Last week, I shared how I managed to lose my phone at a TSA checkpoint. Well, this week, I want to share how the airport decided to test my patience in another way.

I had just had hand surgery, so my hand was bandaged and still swollen with stitches. As I went through security, the TSA agent asked me to remove my bandage. I explained that it wouldn’t be easy because of my stitches, but she insisted on checking. What came next was a painful misunderstanding. She pressed right on my incision, and I let out a very loud “OUCH!”

By then, another officer stepped in, and I had to unwrap everything to prove I wasn’t hiding anything. I felt humiliated, frustrated, and honestly, in a lot of pain. For a moment, I wasn’t my best self.

But here’s the surprising part: the manager who came over was incredibly kind. He helped me re-wrap my bandage and calmly explained the policy. In that moment, I was reminded of something important: even when one person’s approach isn’t the kindest, there’s usually someone else ready to step in with compassion.

In my case, the stitches were hidden under the bandage. The agents couldn’t see them, and despite my explanations, one still pressed right on the incision. It made me think about how often this happens in life—not just with visible injuries, but with invisible disabilities too. TSA staff (and really, most people) don’t always realize when someone is carrying extra challenges, whether it’s autism, anxiety, or a hidden medical condition. They simply don’t know what they don’t know.

That’s why I admire those with forgiving hearts—the people who choose patience and compassion even when misunderstood. I didn’t do as well that day, but I’m learning. Just because someone doesn’t “get it” doesn’t mean they’re out to harm us—it might mean they need gentle advocacy and a calm explanation.

Travel—and life—gives us daily chances to practice that balance between standing up for ourselves and choosing grace.

💡 What about you? How do you stay calm and advocate for yourself when you feel misunderstood?

✈️ A Lesson Learned at Airport Security
When I went through security with stitches and a bandaged hand, I wasn’t fully prepared. I resisted the search a little, which made the process harder for both me and the TSA officer. Looking back, I realize that the hardship I experienced was partly my fault—had I known these TSA rules and tips, I would have been ready and confident instead of caught off guard. Below you will read what I should have known.

💡 Takeaway: Preparation makes all the difference. When we know what to expect, we can advocate calmly, stay safe, and move through security with less stress.

✈️ TSA Security Tips for Travelers with Medical Needs & Disabilities

What to Know Before You Go

Always inform the TSA officer in advance.
Let TSA know you’re carrying or wearing medical items—such as bandages, braces, casts, walkers, insulin pumps, or ostomy devices—before the screening begins. This helps ensure a smoother and more respectful experience.

Adaptive Mobility Devices

• Walkers, crutches, canes: Allowed; must go through X-ray or be hand-inspected.

• Wheelchairs & scooters: Will be screened, including cushions and attached pouches. Removable parts may go through X-ray; non-removable parts receive extra inspection.

• Braces, casts, prosthetics, slings: Acceptable to bring. They may be X-rayed, or you may receive a pat-down if they trigger alarms.

External & Internal Medical Devices

• External devices (insulin pumps, ostomy pouches, feeding tubes): Tell TSA. If possible, devices go through X-ray. If not, you may get a self-pat-down.

• Internal devices (pacemakers, defibrillators): Do not go through metal detectors. Expect a pat-down instead.

Bandages & Dressings

• Bandages or compression sleeves that trigger alarms will require extra screening. Options include a self-pat-down or a gentle hand-held detector check.

Extra Support: TSA Cares

Travelers with medical needs or disabilities can call TSA Cares at least 72 hours before a flight to request support through security.

✅ Quick Checklist

🗣️ Sample Script to Use at TSA

Here’s a simple phrase travelers can use:

👉 “I have a medical condition and I’m wearing/using a [bandage, brace, medical device, wheelchair, etc.]. Please be careful when screening this area.” or you can print this card from the TSA website. https://www.tsa.gov/sites/default/files/disability_notification_card_508.pdf

✈️ Lesson learned: If you’re traveling with a bandage, brace, or medical device, TSA may ask you to remove it. Be prepared. But also remember—patience and kindness go a long way, especially in stressful situations.

Rebecca Rolland is a speech pathologist, Harvard University lecturer, and author of The Art of Talking with Children: The Simple Keys to Nurturing Kindness, Creativity, and Confidence in Kids. In the video below, she shares her ABC framework for talking with children—but it’s a framework that can be applied to communicating with anyone.

A – Adaptive: Respond to the person’s energy, stress level, and timing. When is the best time to chat? How are they feeling in the moment?

B – Back-and-Forth: Are we doing most of the talking? Are we truly listening or tuning out? Are we giving space for the other person to express themselves? Keep the conversation balanced.

C – Child-Driven (or Person-Driven): Focus on the interests, worries, and motivations of the person you’re talking with. What’s on their mind? What do they notice or feel?

🗣️ Communicating Across Different Levels of Autism: The ABCs of Rich Talk

This approach works for autistic individuals of all communication levels:

1. Adaptive – Meet them where they are

• Highly verbal: Match their style—detailed, literal, or centered on a special interest. Tangents can be a path to connection.

• Minimally verbal / non-speaking: Use gestures, pictures, sign, spelling boards or AAC devices. Give extra processing time and respect silence as valid communication.

2. Back-and-Forth – Make it a two-way exchange

• Highly verbal: Listen actively, reflect their words, and ensure they feel heard.

• Minimally verbal / non-speaking: Mirroring body language, labeling, or responding to gestures and eye contact works. Even a simple smile–response–smile counts.

3. Child-Driven – Follow their lead

• Highly verbal: Start with topics that excite them—special interests, routines, or stories.

• Minimally verbal / non-speaking: Notice what draws their attention—lining up toys, music, or movement—and join in without redirecting.

🧩 Example: Talking About Trains

Highly verbal scenario
You: “That’s a long train!”
Them: “Yes, it’s a freight train with 50 cars!”
You (Expand): “Wow—50 cars! Which car is the heaviest?”

Minimally verbal / non-speaking scenario
They point to a toy train.
You: “Train.”
They nod.
You: “Red train. Fast?” [gesture train moving quickly]
They push it faster across the track.

Both scenarios honor Adaptive, Back-and-Forth, and Child-Driven communication.

💡 Takeaway

The ABCs of Rich Talk aren’t about how much someone can say—they’re about creating space for their voice in whatever form it takes. Words, gestures, or shared attention—all are meaningful ways to connect. Also, keep in mind external circumstances that may affect sensory issues: are they hungry? what do they need at this time? before a conversation can happen.

Reflective Question for You:
How could you use the ABCs today to strengthen a connection—whether with your child, a student, or someone you care for?

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