Small Steps, Big Confidence

Everything in this issue is about preparing early, practicing in small increments, and advocating before things get hard

Sometimes Growth Happens in the Rain

Last summer I joined a private book club for an unpublished manuscript. It was a special invite to join a group of CEOs and entrepreneurs reading a book that had nothing to do with business.

To celebrate, the author and her business team, are hosting a Valentine's Day book launch party. They invited my husband and I to join them for a morning 5k run, an afternoon softball game, and an evening gala.

I love Zumba classes, yoga, chi-gong, and tai-chi. I've played pickleball a few times, but running and softball? Not my thing. Nevertheless, I signed myself and my team player husband up for the 5k.

Last week, my husband and I went out to get ready for the 5K. It was lightly drizzling when we left, so we grabbed jackets with hoodies. Somewhere along the route, it started raining harder... and harder... When did we turn around? When it started hailing on us! Two days ago it was in the 80s—now it was chilly enough to hail!

What this taught me about our journeys: life rarely goes as planned. We prepare for a light drizzle, and suddenly we're facing hail—sensory meltdowns, school struggles, or medical appointments we didn't see coming.

But we don’t quit. We adjust our gear and keep going even when conditions change.

We prepare for "manageable," even if life throws us "overwhelming". The lesson? Progress isn't about perfect conditions. It's about showing up anyway, adjusting our approach, and putting one foot in front of the other—even in the hail.

So here's my question for you: What's your 5k? What's the thing you're avoiding because it's "not your thing" but might open up a whole new world for your family? Share with me! I would love to read your response!

Start Summer Camp Planning Now (Before It's Too Late)

Summer camps registration started or will start soon —but accommodations get figured out last minute (or not at all).

If your child needs sensory, mobility, medical, or emotional support, the time to start the conversation is today, while leaders still have time to plan.

You don't need every detail figured out. You just need the right questions and one clear next step.

1. Start With the Goal (Not the Diagnosis)

   Before you email anyone, write one sentence:

   "A successful camp experience for my child looks like…"

   Examples:

• "Being with peers, joining group activities, and having planned breaks when overwhelmed"

• "Participating safely with mobility support and not being left behind"

• "Eating safely with allergy accommodations and having a predictable routine"

This keeps the conversation focused on participation and belonging, not labels.

2. Gather Key Information (Keep It Simple)

   You don't need a binder. A few bullet points work:

• What helps your child regulate: Quiet breaks, movement, headphones, snacks, parent contact

• Known triggers: Being rushed, loud noise, heat, unpredictable changes, crowds

• Mobility realities: Walking distance limits, break needs, terrain concerns

• Medical essentials: Medication timing, allergies/EpiPen, seizure/asthma/diabetes plans

• Hygiene/privacy needs: If applicable (bedwetting, menstrual support, toileting assistance)

Think: Need → What it looks like → What helps

3. Ask These 10 Questions Before You Register

These prevent most "I wish someone had told me" moments:

• What does a typical day schedule look like? (Can I see it ahead of time?)

• What is the sleeping setup? (tents/cabins, lights, noise, bathrooms, supervision)

• What is the terrain like? (distance, hills, heat exposure, accessibility)

• How do you handle youth who need breaks or can't keep pace?

• Is there a calm-down/quiet space available?

• Who is assigned to support a child/youth who needs extra help?

• How are medications stored and administered? Who's responsible?

• How do you handle food allergies and restricted diets? Can families pack substitutes?

• What is your parent contact policy? Can child/youth call/text when dysregulated?

• What would cause a youth to be sent home—and what supports happen before that?

4. Why Early Planning Changes Everything

When camps go poorly for kids with disabilities, it's rarely because leaders don't care. It's usually because:

❌ Needs were discovered too late

❌ Leaders didn't know what to do in the moment

❌ The schedule didn't allow for breaks

❌ The child got unintentionally isolated ("left behind")

Early planning gives everyone a better chance at success—and helps your child feel what every youth deserves:

"I belong here."

Have a camp planning question or success story? please share with us!

Know another parent prepping for summer camp? Forward this. Early planning is a gift we all deserve.

Your child deserves to feel like they belong—and you deserve support making it happen. 🏕️💙

Need the exact email script to send camp leaders?

I've created a copy-paste template that makes this conversation so much easier.

Current subscribers: Reply with "CAMP SCRIPT" and it's yours.

New here? Subscribe to The Autism Passport Newsletter and reply to your welcome email with "CAMP SCRIPT"—I'll send it immediately. Link is at the end of this newsletter.

The Friendship Question Nobody Wants to Ask (But Every Autism Parent Thinks About)

Let's talk about the thing that keeps you up at night more than meltdowns or IEP meetings.

Friends. Or the heartbreaking lack of them.

I see you watching other kids cluster together while your child plays alone. I see you scrolling past birthday party photos, knowing your child wasn't invited.

Here's what I know: You're not failing. The system is designed for neurotypical friendships—we just need to rebuild it for our kids.

Dr. Ron Malcom from The Autism Parenting Magazine offers practical strategies that actually work. Here's what matters most:

1. Start with Social Skills Foundation. Check your child's IEP - Does it include social skills training? Work with your special education teacher to understand:

• What social stories and scripted dialogues are being practiced

• Progress on facial expressions, voice volume, and personal space

• How humor, sarcasm, and disagreements are being taught

Then practice at home. The more your child uses these skills across settings, the more natural they become.

Real-world practice matters: Ordering food at restaurants, introducing themselves at events, asking for help at stores, running a lemonade stand. These everyday moments build confidence.

2. Match Interests to Opportunities. Know what lights up your child, then find communities around those interests:

• Musical, artistic, or athletic clubs at school or in the community

• Special interest groups (trains, gaming, coding, animals—whatever they love)

• Activities where they can develop skills alongside peers who share their passion

The magic: When kids bond over shared interests, friendship happens naturally.

But also expand their world. Take them out of comfort zones with new experiences—volunteering at shelters, helping at school events, community service projects. New activities = new potential friends.

3. Stop Waiting for Invitations—Create Them Here's the hard truth: If you wait for your child to be invited, you might wait forever.

So become the host:

• Friday night pizza and video games at your house

• Movie night with popcorn

• Trip to the zoo or playground

The secret to success? Let potential guests help plan. Work with your child's teacher—allow classmates to pick the movie, games, or food. When kids feel invested, they show up.

Communicate with other parents. Explain the event, invite them to visit beforehand, build trust. This isn't about pity invitations—it's about creating genuine connection opportunities.

4. Leverage Religious Communities Churches, synagogues, and faith communities can be friendship goldmines:

• Sunday school classes and youth programs

• Summer camps and service projects

• Holiday programs and performances

The key: Talk to leaders about your child's needs. Most want to help but don't know how. Your communication becomes their roadmap.

And it costs nothing beyond showing up consistently.

5. Teach the Critical Concepts. Your child needs to understand:

What autism means - They can't self-advocate if they don't understand their own diagnosis. Have age-appropriate conversations.

Friend vs. Bully - This isn't obvious to many autistic kids. Use concrete examples:

• A friend shares lunch with you; a bully steals your milk

• A friend is kind; a bully calls you names

• A friend can disagree with you and still be your friend

 Important: Friends don't have to share ALL interests or agree on everything. That's a critical nuance.

6. Stay Connected to School Progress. Check in regularly with teachers:

• How does my child interact at recess?

• Are they eating lunch with peers?

• Do they participate in group activities during PE?

• Are they engaging in social conversations?

Better yet, volunteer at school so you can observe progress yourself.

The Truth We Need To Remember

Most of us have survived life with just one true and loyal friend. The same can be true for your child with autism.

Your child doesn't need a huge social circle. They need:

✅ Social skills to navigate their world

✅ Opportunities to practice those skills

✅ At least one genuine connection

✅ Parents who create bridges instead of waiting for them

Different doesn't mean less. One deep friendship beats a dozen shallow ones.

Your child's friendship story is still being written—and you're holding the pen. 🧩💙

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