The Heart of a Dad

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From the Heart – June Reflections

A couple of weeks ago at a community gathering, my husband and I had a meaningful conversation with a gentleman. For about ten minutes, it was just the three of us. We asked about his children, and he spoke proudly about them. Then he paused and told us about one of his daughters: “She doesn’t like social gatherings; she prefers to stay home alone.”

As we continued talking, he opened up about her struggles with anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. With a heavy heart, he shared his concerns and love for her. He quietly said, “I haven’t talked to anyone about this besides my wife.” I was deeply moved and thanked him for trusting us with something so personal. Soon after, others joined our conversation, and we had to move on.

That exchange stayed with me. It reminded me how much harder it can be for men to open up about mental health—whether their own or that of someone they love. Women tend to have more freedom and social permission to talk about these things, but many men keep their emotions tucked away.

June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month and also Alzheimer’s & Brain Awareness Month. It’s a great time to pause and acknowledge the invisible challenges so many live with—and to make space for meaningful conversations.

At The Autism Passport, we’re committed to building community through understanding, compassion, and shared stories. If you know a dad, brother, son, husband, or friend who might be carrying more than they show, reach out. Ask a gentle question. Be present. Sometimes a listening ear makes all the difference.

As we celebrate Father’s Day this month, we want to honor the incredible strength, quiet sacrifices, and deep love of fathers raising children with autism. These dads often carry their worries silently—concerned about their child’s future, their sense of belonging, and how the world will treat them. While they may not always voice their fears, they are constantly thinking ahead, problem-solving, and finding ways to support their children’s unique needs. Fathers are often the steady presence, the calm in the storm, and the fierce advocates working behind the scenes. They show up—whether it’s through a late-night Google search, a spontaneous sensory-friendly outing, or simply being the anchor when everything feels overwhelming.

To all the fathers walking this journey: your strength matters, your efforts are seen, and your love makes all the difference.

✈️ Travel Well: Adventures With Dad

When dads travel with their children—especially children with autism—it’s more than just packing bags and booking hotels. It’s about creating calm in the chaos, preparing for the unexpected, and building moments that stick in their kids’ memories for life.

We see you, dads.
You’re the ones turning a routine trip into a sensory-friendly adventure. You’re the ones quietly adjusting plans when things don’t go right. You carry extra backpacks, extra snacks, and extra patience.

Here are some travel tips and ideas just for you:

🔧 1. Be the “Fixer,” But Also the Fun-Guy

Many dads instinctively shift into problem-solving mode. Use that strength! Channel it into prepping sensory kits (noise-canceling headphones, fidget toys, favorite snacks) so your child feels safe. But also let yourself have fun—be goofy at the splash pad, make silly airport games, or lead a photo scavenger hunt.

🧡 Pro Tip: Turn waiting in line into a game. Try: “Can we spot 5 things that are red?” or “Guess how many steps from here to the gate?”

🗺️ 2. Plan Short, Meaningful Outings

You don’t need a full-blown vacation to make a memory. Try a quiet nature trail, a sensory-friendly museum hour, a visit to a train station just to watch the arrivals and departures. Dads often thrive with clear, achievable goals—and so do our kids.

🧡 Pro Tip: Let your child help “lead” the outing. Create a visual schedule or checklist so they feel in control.

👟 3. Comfort First—For You and Your Child

From shoes to snacks to car seat straps, comfort is king. Don’t overlook your own needs—bring your favorite hoodie, backup sunglasses, or your go-to playlist. Regulating your stress helps your child stay regulated too.

🧡 Pro Tip: Build in quiet time between activities. A 20-minute sensory break can prevent a full-on meltdown later.

To all the dads packing bags, making plans, and lifting kids onto your shoulders—you’re creating something bigger than a trip. You’re making your child feel safe in a world that can feel unpredictable. And that’s a journey worth celebrating.

💙To the Moms Doing Double Duty

Growing up, I spent many weekends with my aunt, a single mom. I watched her do it all—working hard, raising her kids with love and patience, and still making space for me to be part of her world. That experience left a lasting impression. I have deep admiration for all the incredible moms out there who carry both roles—mother and father—with strength, grace, and so much heart. This Father’s Day, I want to dedicate a special part of this message to you, too. You are seen. You are loved. And you are doing an extraordinary job.

💙 Real Talk: Dads Need TLC Too

In almost every support group I’ve visited—especially those focused on self-care for parents—I mostly see moms, grandmas, aunts, and sisters. Rarely do I see dads or grandpas. Why is it so much easier for women to talk about self-care, let alone actually do it?

Maybe it’s because we women are from Venus, and we’re a little more wired for TLC. But let’s be honest—those dads from Mars could use some care and kindness too. They often carry so much silently. So this Father’s Day, let’s spoil the dads a little. Here are a few ideas:

1. 🍔 Feed the soul – Cook (or order) something hearty—think meat and potatoes, a grilled feast, or a plate of their favorites they don’t have to make themselves.

2. 🧰 Send him out – Give him a bigger-than-usual budget and send him to his favorite store: hardware, sporting goods, auto parts, or even a used bookstore.

3. 💬 Speak his language – What’s his love language? Words of affirmation? Acts of service? Quality time? Think about how you and the kids can fill his emotional bucket.

4. 📺 Join his world – Watch his favorite show with him, even if it’s all Sci-Fi, sports, or slow documentaries about trains. Just being there matters.

5. 💤 Offer peace – Would he enjoy a walk in the quiet? A nap without interruption? Let him unplug for a while.

6. 💆🏽‍♂️ Give a little comfort – A foot rub, back massage, or even just a warm towel and his favorite drink can go a long way.

In the book Love & Respect, it says: Women long to feel loved. Men long to feel respected.
How can you and your children show love and respect for him this weekend—and maybe even a little more often?

For dads raising children with autism, the quiet strength they carry is often overlooked. Let’s change that. Let’s lift them up, honor their role, and make space for their well-being too.

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