The Power of a Reset: Apologies, Prep Talks & Finding Calm

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In this issue: I walked in prepared, warmed up, and felt so ready… and then promptly played the wrong song in front of 100+ people. 😅Turns out, that moment of humility had a parenting lesson tucked inside. Vacations can trigger meltdowns when kids don’t know what to expect. Use this quick “emotional packing list”—rules, expectations, consequences, and a coping plan—to help kids stay regulated and enjoy the outing. A teen with autism and Auditory Processing Disorder, found calm and confidence through wildlife photography—an inspiring reminder of how special interests and support can help kids thrive.

My husband guessed my mistake —your child with autism may remember yours too

Once in a while, I get the privilege of playing organ for a church congregation that meets in the same building where I attend.

A few weeks ago, I was asked to play for them. I arrived on time, warmed up, knew the songs, and felt totally set. Everything went wonderfully… or so I thought.

The messages were inspiring, my heart was full, and then the chorister sitting next to me handed me the sweetest little handmade gift. It touched me so deeply that my eyes started watering like a dripping faucet. 🥹

By the time it was time for the last song, I started very enthusiastically—trying to read notes through watery eyes and foggy glasses.

And then… chaos.

All I could hear was musical confusion. The voices that usually sing together were suddenly all over the place. The chorister looked at me. I looked at the music book.

And ohhhh my heart.

I was playing the wrong song. 😳

The congregation was trying to adjust (bless them), and I had to stop and do the humbling thing:

“I’m sorry—my mistake. Wrong song.”

Then I regrouped, started over, and the rest went just fine.

That night I asked my husband, “Guess what I did today at the organ?”

He replied immediately: “Played the wrong song?”

He was kidding… but “yes” was my reply.

His eyes got big, and then he laughed when I told him the whole story. 😂

It was humbling to stop, apologize in front of a congregation, regroup, and start all over again.

that night, this experience made me think about apologies when we make mistakes:

When was the last time one of my parents apologized to me?
When was the last time I apologized to my kids?

Parenting is definitely a learning curve. And not to put lime on an open wound… but I can remember so many mistakes I made while trying to parent my kids.

I don’t recall apologizing to them as often as I wish I had—and that hurts my heart.

Sometimes I wonder:

Do they resent me?
Is there something I need to say sorry for?

Have you ever brushed off your kid’s complaints over clothing tags?

Or dismissed comments like, “I don’t like how this feels,” or “I don’t want a hug”?

What about assuming they can’t understand because they can’t speak?

Or treating young adults like toddlers?

Or looking back and realizing we dismissed clues and symptoms—the “I should have known” regrets? There are so many ways we can get it “wrong.”

But I’m also amazed by the love and resilience of our kids and the growth that comes when we, as parents, apologize—and let our kids (no matter what age) see that we can say sorry too.

Today I just want to tell you: we all make mistakes, and we all learn and grow.

If you’ve played the “wrong song” in parenting (haven’t we all?), it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human—and you still have the power to repair.

You’ve got this. 💛

This week, try one small repair:
Say one sentence to your child (any age): “I’m sorry. I’m learning. I want to do better.”
If you do, let me know how it goes—reply and share! I read all comments.

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Regulation before rules: what works when your child is overwhelmed

Vacations and fun outings can be exactly when things fall apart—because excitement + novelty + tired/hungry/overstimulated nervous systems don’t always mix well. 😅

In his article, Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums, licensed school psychologist David Krasky shares a simple, powerful reminder: kids do best when they know what’s coming. Preparation isn’t about controlling behavior—it’s about supporting regulation.

The “Emotional Packing List” (Do This Before You Go)
Before an outing, preview these 4 things:

• Rules – What behavior is expected?

• Expectations – What’s going to happen, how long it will take, and what’s not happening.

• Consequences – Calm, predictable outcomes (and what goes well when things go well).

• Coping Plan – What your child can do when they feel overwhelmed (break, headphones, deep breaths, quiet corner, comfort item, etc.).

Keep Language Simple (Because Words Disappear During Big Feelings)
When emotions rise, language drops. Short phrases help more than long explanations:

“I see you’re frustrated.”
“This is hard.”
“Let’s breathe.”
“We can handle this.”
The Secret Sauce: Your Regulation First
Kids “borrow” calm from us. One of the best tools is a regulated adult:

Slow your voice and body

Name your coping: “I’m taking a breath so I can stay calm.”

Remember: behavior is communication

Try This on Your Next Outing (30 Seconds, Max)
Before you walk out the door, do a quick preview:

“Here’s the plan, here are the rules, here’s what happens if it gets hard, and here’s what you can do to feel better.”

Questions for you:

• Which part tends to derail outings the most—transitions, waiting, sensory overload, or hunger/tiredness?

• What’s one coping tool your child actually uses (not just one you wish they’d use)?

• What’s an early warning sign that the parent is getting dysregulated—and what helps to reset?

You don’t need a perfect trip—you need a plan for when things aren’t perfect. A tiny bit of “emotional packing” can protect the fun (and your nervous system too). 💛

Try it once this week: Pick one outing—big or small—and do the 4-part preview (Rules, Expectations, Consequences, Coping Plan).

Here’s the full article: (RaisingFutureAdults.com)

What is your child’s Superpower? Spreading her/his wings?

I’m not a photographer… but if you ask my husband, he might call me a photographer wannabe. 😄He teases me that I take waaaay too many pictures.

I even upgraded my phone for a better camera and more memory (because priorities, right?). And recently he asked—totally serious—if we should finally replace our 15-year-old point-and-shoot Canon. LOL.

Speaking of photography, I came across this inspiring article about an amazing young lady I think you’ll want to meet.

Caitlyn McDonald was diagnosed in her early teens with autism and Auditory Processing Disorder. High school was exhausting—anxiety crept in, and her confidence took a hit. She wears her headphones all day, every day just to get through the constant noise of life.

Caitlyn tried different activities, but eventually she found something that changed the whole picture: wildlife photography.

Headphones On, Camera Up 📷🎧

Looking through a lens gave her a place to focus—quietly, intentionally, and on her own terms.

Since then, Caitlyn has photographed an incredible range of wildlife. And along the way, she’s been building something even bigger than a portfolio: Confidence. 💛

We received a special message for The Autism Passport subscribers from Photographer Caitlyn McDonald!!!

“My mum has always been my voice when I didn't feel heard. She fought for my rights, showed me that being different isn't a bad thing, and reminded me I am good enough. Because I sometimes need prompts with basic tasks, Mum set up simple things like Alexa reminders to help me stay independent.

My dad supports me too-driving me to early photo shoots, waiting in the cold, carrying my gear, and soon standing on muddy sidelines while I photograph a local football team.

Together they make it possible for me to follow my dreams. They believed in me when I doubted myself, which helped me keep going.

Thank you Caitlyn for your inspiring message and for sharing one of your stunning pictures with The Autism Passport!

If you could add one support to help your child thrive—what would it be: time, tools, a mentor, a class, or fewer demands?

Caitlyn’s story is such a good reminder that thriving doesn’t always come from “trying harder.” Sometimes it comes from finding the right outlet—and the right people—where your child can expand his/her wings to fly

Read the full article here: (BBC.com)

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