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✨ “It’s Not You — Understanding Triggers in Autism and Beyond”

When I was a young girl growing up in Mexico City, I used to watch a Japanese TV series called Señorita Cometa. It was my introduction to Japanese culture — I learned about chopsticks, futons, rice paper doors, and beautiful gardens. I was so fascinated that I actually planned an “escape route” — in my mind, if I started digging a hole in my backyard, eventually, I could get to Japan!

Years later, during my senior year of high school in the U.S., I met Japanese exchange students. We didn’t share the same language at first, but with the help of dictionaries (and lots of laughter), we made it work. I loved my Japanese friends and always dreamed of one day visiting their country.

A few years later, I was called to serve a mission for my church. We don’t get to choose where we go, but in my heart, I secretly wished for Japan — even though, being a Spanish speaker, my chances were very small. To my amazement, when I opened the letter announcing my assignment, I saw the words: Osaka, Japan. My heart leapt! That was where my high school friends were from. There are no coincidences in life.

Living in Japan was one of the most meaningful experiences of my life — though it wasn’t always easy. One day, as my companion and I were walking through a park, an elderly man stood up, spit toward us, and yelled:
“You killed my family in Hiroshima. I hate you!”

My heart broke. I realized that this man had carried deep pain for decades, and something about seeing us had triggered that pain. It wasn’t about us — but we represented something that reopened his wounds.

That experience has stayed with me. It taught me that triggers are often invisible threads connected to past pain or sensory overload. Sometimes people — or children — react strongly to something that seems small, but what’s really happening is a deep emotion being reawakened.

As parents and caregivers, this is so important to remember. When our loved one melts down, refuses to go somewhere, or reacts in a way we don’t understand, it’s not about us. It’s about what their nervous system is experiencing in that moment.

So, hang in there. Take a breath. Do your self-care. Remember — it’s not you.

This book was recommended by Jenna Anderson from Therapy Foundations https://www.therapyfoundations.com/

💡 “Feel Good Takeaway” — Tips for Parents and Caregivers

Here are a few gentle reminders that might help when triggers appear:

1. Pause before reacting. A calm presence helps your child’s nervous system settle faster.

2. Look for patterns. Keep a simple log of when meltdowns happen — time, place, sounds, smells — you may discover hidden triggers.

3. Validate, don’t fix. Sometimes a simple “I can see you’re upset” can do more than a long explanation.

4. Create calm spaces. Whether it’s a quiet corner, noise-canceling headphones, or a weighted blanket — give your child tools for regulation.

5. Don’t take it personally. Their reaction is communication, not rejection.

6. Care for yourself too. You can’t pour from an empty cup — even 5 minutes of quiet or fresh air can help you reset.

🌏 Discovering the Heart of Hiroshima’s Timeless Beauty

Speaking of Hiroshima, I’d love to share some of the places my family and I had the chance to visit — plus a few more that are still on my list for next time. Even if you’re not planning a trip to Japan, take a peek at the websites below. You’ll see why I fell in love with Japan’s castles, temples, shrines, and gardens — each one filled with peace, beauty, and stories that stay in your heart.

1. Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park & Museum and Atomic Bomb Dome

We were deeply moved by how the museum displays tell Hiroshima’s story with sensitivity and respect. Most exhibits include English translations, making it easy to follow. It was a poignant experience — one that helped my children truly understand and honor what happened that day.
🕊 Visit the museum’s official site →

2. Itsukushima Shrine (Miyajima Island)

This world-famous shrine features the breathtaking floating torii gate — one of Japan’s most iconic sights. The island’s tranquil beauty and spiritual atmosphere make it a must-see.
⛩️ Learn more about Itsukushima Shrine →

3. Hiroshima Castle

A beautiful reconstruction surrounded by a peaceful moat, Hiroshima Castle offers a window into the region’s samurai past and traditional architecture. It’s easy to see why this spot captures so many hearts.
🏯 Explore Hiroshima Castle →

4. Shukkeien Garden

A traditional Japanese garden with lush greenery, ponds, and arched bridges. Every view feels like a painting — it’s a photographer’s dream and a soul-soothing place to unwind.
🌿 Discover Shukkeien Garden →

5. Takehara Townscape Preservation District

This charming town, often called “Little Kyoto,” preserves Edo-period buildings and quiet cobblestone streets. We didn’t have time to visit, but it’s high on my list for next time!
🏘️ See Takehara Townscape →

🗾 Travel Etiquette Tips for Visiting Japan

If you plan to visit Japan, here are a few cultural tips to help you show respect and travel with grace:

1. Chopsticks: Never stick chopsticks vertically into rice — it’s associated with funeral rituals and considered disrespectful.

2. Phone etiquette: Keep your voice low on public transportation, especially trains, where quiet is the norm.

3. Cleanliness: Japan is famously spotless! Carry your trash until you find a proper bin.

🌼 Not-So-Empty Nesting: Redefining What It Means to Thrive

Last week I shared a little about my Empty Nester group as we hosted a Paralympic medalist. Our group meets once or twice a month — sometimes for potlucks, sometimes for outings or guest speakers, but always for connection.

Have you ever wondered what it will feel like to be a true “empty nester”? For many families, that stage eventually comes with a quiet house and newfound freedom. But for others — especially parents and grandparents raising children or adults on the autism spectrum — that stage might never fully arrive.

With autism diagnoses increasing, more and more families find themselves continuing to care for their loved ones well into adulthood. Some grandparents are raising grandkids with autism; some parents are caring for their adult children into their own retirement years. The truth is — empty nesting looks different for everyone.

So how can we still create space for connection, joy, and renewal, even when caregiving remains part of daily life?

One idea that’s been on my heart lately is to host a “Not-So-Empty Nest Gathering.” A relaxed event where caregivers can come together — and bring their young adults with autism, too. It would be a space for laughter, sharing, and belonging, without the stress of finding respite care. I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas on how to make it a beautiful, inclusive experience for everyone. 💛

If you have suggestions, please reply to this email — your voice matters!

💡^{Tips to Thrive When Empty Nesting Isn’t So Empty}

1. Find your village. You may not have an empty home, but you can still build meaningful community. Join local groups or create your own support circle like our Not-So-Empty Nest Gathering.

2. Celebrate small freedoms. Even a quiet walk, a cup of tea alone, or lunch with a friend can refill your emotional tank.

3. Stay curious about life. Keep exploring new interests — even in small ways — to remind yourself that you are still growing as an individual.

4. Share the journey. Talk openly with others about what caregiving in this stage looks like. You’ll be surprised how many people feel the same way.

5. Honor your story. Caring for someone long-term is not a delay in your life — it’s a continuation of love.

🌺 A Thought to Carry With You

Empty nesting isn’t just about who leaves the home — it’s about what fills your heart. Connection, purpose, and love can make even the busiest home feel full of peace.

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